prayer babbling

I always find myself thinking these things during a small group prayer setting, where we are all seated in a circle praying as a group.

Ever had a time when people you were praying with were just so into the mood that they were using crazy words and praying the Psalms from their heart? Yes.

Ever had a time when that happened and you felt unequipped to pray because your vocabulary dictionary wasn't as big as the guy next to you or that you are very bad at memorizing scripture? Yes.

I know that when we pray, we shouldn't babble cool and big words as if to impress God or to our brothers and sisters in the prayer circle, because it definitely won't impress God. I find myself struggling with that when praying with guys who are praying their hearts out and have hidden in their hearts tons of Psalms. I find it even harder especially when I realize that they aren't actually babbling, but they are actually talking with God.

But there are some that I know are just babbling with words such as "abide" or...

Yea. You know, those big religious words.

I also find it kind of funny sometimes how for some reason, when we pray in a small group, it always has to go around in a circular order. There is always that guy who doesn't pray when it is "supposed" to be his turn. Then there is a very long awkward silence, making that guy feel like he has to pray. I find myself sometimes wanting to break that by jumping in to pray even though I wasn't next in order in the circle.

Sometimes you feel as though your prayer will be more "powerful" if you make it sound jazzy and cool with words like "Glorious" and "Majestic".

Like take this example from my life:
When the person next to you is praying out loud, you know that you are next, so you find yourself thinking and running through in your mind your prayer that you will pray out loud making sure it is a prayer that will be impressive sounding. When the pastor or one of the staff leaders is there, it makes you really wanna think of something even more amazing to impress them as if they will praise you for your wonderful prayer skills. Then there is the time when you got your prayer ready in your mind. Then you realize that guy just prayed that "impressive line" you thought of...

Or when somebody prays like this:
"Oh Father! Teach me to be consumed by you all of the time, to drink deeply from Your living water until saturation"

And then I realize I am next. I think to myself, "How do I top that?" My vocabulary choice is like... nothing compared to these guys...

I find myself thinking all this, and it sickens me. Maybe because I don't pray enough? Or I need to start memorizing Psalms (I am doing so now), or actually picking up my bible and turning into a Psalm and praying that Psalm. Or I am not seeing it correctly, that praying is basically talking with my Father, God.

So, when it was my turn, I didn't know what to pray because there was this huge battle inside me of not having a cool phrase or line to say. So I started.

"Father. God. Daddy. Forgive me for trying to be cool with my words. Thank you for Jesus. You ROCK! In Jesus' name, Amen!"

This was probably one of my most authentic prayer ever during a group prayer circle this semester.