prayer and meditating on God's word

Bible. check.
Journal. check.
Pen. check.

What do I do...when I feel that meditating on God's word is no fun. Recently, it has been hard for me to enjoy meditating God's word and praying. Why? My mindset and my heart isn't right, I guess? I might find that looking at sports stats are more fun, or reading up on the latest Facebook status or reading articles or other people's blogs or anything that doesn't deal with communing with God. Something is wrong. It is sad thinking about how at times we see communion with God a dreadful duty.

Too many times, I come too much at a technical point of view of everything, God, or a ministry, or church, or small groups, or school, or life. It finally hit me hard, and my attitude was revealed. I was convicted. I was disgusted. There was not much relationship nor communion. My view of God shrunk. A LOT. Maybe that is why I didn't enjoy communing with God.

I opened up the bible to the Psalms to find words, because I did not know what to say anymore, to pour my heart and emotions to Father. I prayed through Psalm 102, 119, and 143.

In the end, I opened to Psalm 1 and saw the attitude of the Psalmist. I finally caught attention to the Holy Spirit. I want and need what that Psalmist is talking about!

"Blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked or stand in the way of sinners or sit in the seat of mockers. But his delight is in the law of the LORD, and on his law he meditates day and night. He is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither.
Whatever he does prospers."

I think that when we ever come to a situation where we just want to gag or throw up when we see ourselves putting God as a duty instead of a relationship, we need to take a step back. The Psalmists had the same issue too. We get too caught up with "our life" and become blind to realize the joy and delight in communing with God.

It doesn't take long to realize how much joy and delight comes from communion with God when you go before His presence.